...I say "ficando", you say "hooking up", she says "dating for the past year"
As ever, Madonna finds herself at the cutting edge of sexual politics. Not by being called Madonna and having the chutzpah to sleep with a chap called Jesus (although, top marks for best fetish yet). No, her Madgesty scores zeitgeist points for the terms under which she is sleeping with said Brazilian; namely, by imposing no terms whatsoever.
When news of the affair broke, a Brazilian website reported: “Everyone knows they are ficando – a Portuguese expression that means they are kissing and doing other things, but without any obligation of being faithful or getting into a relationship.” There is no direct translation of the term ficando because what it describes is merely the single status quo. I am ficando, you are ficando, who among us is not?
For single relationships present less an etiquette problem than an issue of basic definition. Time was, when the classic scenario involved waking up with someone, and, if you were still waking up with them a few months later, you were “going out”. These days, you could be hooking up, friends that shag, about to tie the knot, or anything in between pretty much indefinitely. Those unsophisticated enough to seek to impose clarity will be deemed bullying, crassly naive.
The problem with such situations is that, as the Gauls have it, there is one who kisses, one who offers the cheek. Or, in British parlance: there will always be a stalker and a stalkee.
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