By Hadley Freeman
Madonna's new man is not only called Jesus, he is also, whisper it, 28 years younger than her. Good for her, says Hadley Freeman.
His name is Jesus and her name, of course, is Madonna: how could they not get together? OK, maybe the original duo didn't strip off their clothes as soon as they met and then pose for a fashion shoot that took more inspiration from Emmanuelle than The Last Temptation of Christ. But hey, we live in a post-Darwin, post-Dawkins era and holy moments come shrouded in all manner of disguises.
Yet the wonderful juxtaposition of names is, impressively, one of the less attention-grabbing aspects to the relationship between Madonna and Jesus Luz, or "Jesus Light". Instead, what has really fascinated the media is that he is 22 and she is 50 or, as the Daily Mail was quick to point out, older than Luz's grandmother. In other words, when Luz was born Madonna was married to Sean Penn. Speaking of Penn, he confirmed his status as one of the more charming men in Hollywood when his ex-wife approached him at an Oscars party last week to congratulate him on his win. Penn gestured towards Luz and sneered, "Thanks. Another kid already?" I wonder if Penn ever cracks similar jokes to his good friend Jack Nicholson when he turns up with another teenager. Oh no, that's right. Older men - sexy. Older women - ewwww! Can an older woman even have sex?
Some readers might cry double standards, claiming that if a 50-year-old male popstar was going out with a 22-year-old model this article wouldn't be quite so approving. Two responses come to mind, the first one obviously is that the world has endured photos of ageing rockers pawing teenage girls for decades, so it's nice to have a little bit of payback. Last year alone, Bryan Ferry, 63, started going out with a 27-year-old who may or may not be his son Isaac's ex-girlfriend; Paul Weller, 50, ditched his girlfriend of 13 years before being photographed rolling on a pavement with a 23-year-old, and Ronnie Wood, 61, left the mother of his children for a childlike blonde. As for Madonna, heck, the woman deserves something after her bitter divorce and custody wrangles with Guy Ritchie.
True, two wrongs don't make a right. But famous women over 35, let alone 50, don't have such a nice time of it. This is not an original point, but it is one that seems to get more true with every passing year. Let's just recap, again, on events from the last year: Moira Stuart, 59, was sacked from reading the news, prompting accusations of age discrimination; Jennifer Aniston continues to be universally pitied because she is - oh the horror - 40 and unmarried; Gwyneth Paltrow, 36, was airbrushed to a comically unrecognisable degree on the cover of US Vogue.
Madonna, on the other hand, walked out of a marriage and into the arms of a 22-year-old male model. Overly exercised she may be but the woman looks pretty good in the W magazine photoshoot of her and Luz rolling around on a bed together and, more importantly, like she's having a damn good time.
There have been a few (very few) high-profile older woman, younger man couplings before. Emma Thompson (49) married Greg Wise (42), and Greg, endearingly, seemed to go grey as soon as they left the church, as if to even things out. Susan Sarandon (62) and Tim Robbins (50) are probably the best known, although my favourite has long been Joan Collins and Percy Gibson, whose 32-year age gap makes Madonna and Jesus's 28 years look like a mere sneeze. When Joan was asked about the age gap she delightfully replied, "If he dies, he dies." I love Joan.
To see an older woman with a clearly very sexy younger man is the most marvellous pop in the eye to Ronnie, Paul, Bryan et al. The fact that she is not just a mother, but the most famous mother in the world - she is the Madonna, after all - makes the whole thing even better. And I didn't make one joke about the second coming.
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There's another article from today about a May-December romances, coming from the Daily-Mail.
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